Way Article – I have Killed the Elephant….the badger, the goats…

Sky News Article link

I see on today's Daily Mail and on Sky News, that a badger cull is suggested to help to eradicate bovine TB. What a good idea.

Then, when the badgers are all dead we can take a look at squirrels. Now they might carry TB, or something else that might harm humans.

Then we can hold long winded and expensive studies by the best brains in the world and decide to kill all the squirrels

Then we may find that birds carry things that might harm human beings. The answer is simple. Hold expensive long winded studies by the best brains in the world. The decision can then be made: kill all the birds.

Then when all the birds are dead and gone; and nothing can fly anywhere in the world without a gasoline engine, we might just discover that butterflies are still there and might carry things that might harm humans. So yet again the answer is obvious. Hold an expensive study and then decide to kill the little bastards.

Then come the house flies. They crawl on food and are dangerous to human existence as well, so after spending millions on a study we will again come to the conclusion that we should kill them all. Now nothing can fly to carry anything that may harm the human race. We all know that things that fly are dangerous.

Apart from all that after a long study by the best brains in the World, we discover that it's really the cattle that carry TB. So we must kill them off as well, just to be safe.

Then sheep that just might carry all sorts of things in their wool, and they get parasitic worms as well. So an expensive study is needed by the best brains in the world. The answer to the problem is to kill them all.

Then goats, rabbits and everything that crawls, flies or walks. We know by the expensive study that goats don't get TB. But better safe than sorry; so if it moves, kill it.

Now let’s look at the bugs. Don't forget the bugs. Lets kill them off as well; and then we might be safe. Hold an expensive study by the best brains in the world, and kill them off.

Then what? Perchance the light may come on. We might hold an expensive study by the best brains in the world and find out that we can't exist without all the species. We kill one thing and then another. We hardly miss them one at a time, but then we did hold expensive studies, didn’t we? Just to be sure.

It’s easier to kill than to cure, but, we still don't feel safe. It's on TV, all those bugs and things. So we buy stuff that ‘kills ninety nine percent of all household germs’. These chemicals have been killing them for the last fifty years or more, yet the little buggers persist and the big buggers as well. How can they survive, is the question?

Now, where do all these household germs that might harm us come from? I know; we will hold an expensive study by the best brains in the world. What can they possibly come up with?

Then there are the poor people. Now we all know that they don't wash as often as they should; and they eat from refuse bins and such places, and cost the state money as well. Now we can't have that. So now we will kill them.

Then there are people with red hair. Maybe they carry germs and that's why their hair is red? It wasn't rust after all. So we will hold an expensive study by the best brains in the world. A decision is made. They will have to go, so the rest of us can feel safe. All for the common good, don't you know.

Again we look around in fear. TV adverts have new and wonderful things to kill this and cure that, so someone is responsible for all the problems. So we will hold an expensive study by the best brains in the world.

Blue eyed people – now they're different to us brown eyed people; and there's more of us than there is of them. They could cause a problem, so we will hold a study by the best brains in the world, no expense spared, so that we can get it right. The answer is the same. Kill them off as well.

Now there's only me left. I'm the only normal human being in the world- and that's why I've survived. I am the Chairman of the study groups: the best brain in the world. I can hold by head high with pride, as I and all the other right thinking people have managed to clear the world of all its possible dangers to the human race. The problem is there's only me left, and I'm starving. O what a cruel world! But – I'm dying in safety.

The point of all this is, why not just kill of all the humans and leave the rest of the world alone? The biggest danger to life and limb at this time are human beings. Their stupidity appears to know no bounds. Silly, isn't it?

Think about it.

I have rode the elephant,

And the lion I have tamed.

I have sailed the seven seas,

And all earth’s mountains named.


And I have made an atom bomb,

So soon I'll come for you.

I've poisoned most of the rivers,

And I'm cutting down all the trees.

And I'll keep burning up the oil,

‘Cause I so love my wheels.

I like a lot of money,

I'll pay a lot for nice fur coats,

And that will get rid of most of the beasts,

Except for some scruffy old goats.

But as the goats are getting rarer,

Their value will go up.

And this I'm very glad to say,

Will overflow my cup.

Yes I've killed off all the elephants,

I've killed to Dodo too.

And when all the beasts are dead and gone,

Then I'll come and I'll hunt you.

Then I'll make ornaments from your teeth,

And make handbags from your skin.

And I know that God is on my side,

So you cant hope to win.

I have killed the mighty whale,

Monarch of the sea.

And I am man, the Lord of Beasts,

And there'll soon be only me.

And then at last I'll have it all,

The whole earth will be mine.

With scorched land and cloud-black sky,

Through which the sun don't shine.

2012 © R.G. Crosbie

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